‘Round the Corner, Fudge Is Made.

The other day, I heard someone utter a little childrens’ rhyme:

Milk, milk, lemonade.

Round the corner, fudge is made.

Instantly, I had this uncontrollable urge for fudge.

Imagine that. Here it is the beginning of summer, and I am craving an ultra-fatty confection that I typically associate with the Holidays.

Is this what is meant by Christmas in July? Highly doubtful, but it’s an excuse for fudge, isn’t it? Taking the old rhyme to heart, I popped around the corner to see where the fudge was made.

Sadly, whoever made up that charming little bit of nonsense does not live in my neighborhood. There isn’t any fudge being made for public consumption within a mile of my apartment. If these alleged fudge-makers were perhaps making it in the privacy of their own homes, I was uncertain as to which doors I should knock upon.

Asking total strangers for fudge just seems a bit of an imposition in my book, so I decided to just go ahead and whip up a batch myself.

Hazelnut Fantasy Fudge

This is an adaptation of Elise Bauer’s father’s favorite fudge recipe. Now, I know neither Ms. Bauer nor her father, so I don’t think they would be too upset if I changed things up a little. Rather than the traditional walnuts, I’ve instead added hazelnuts, since they are my current nut-of-choice. And I have halved the recipe, since the idea of having three pounds of fudge on my hands gave be a phantom sugar headache.

The addition of marshmallow– specifically marshmallow creme– even more specifically Kraft® Marshmallow Creme– makes this particular style of fudge “Fantasy Fudge”. Apart from, say, Chuck Berry, I can’t think of a single person who would ever entertain fudge fantasies, but there you have it. Fantasy Fudge it is, and Fantasy Fudge it will remain.

Sort of. Not only is there a paucity of fudge makers in my neighborhood, but hunting down a jar of marshmallow creme turned out to be a royal pain in the place ’round the corner, too. So, for this recipe, I made my own “creme” by melting down marshmallows gently over the steaming heat of a double boiler. It worked very well. If you cannot find marshmallow creme, I suggest you do the same.

Makes about 1 1/2 pounds of delicious fudge. You can more than likely squeeze about 40 chunks out, if you cut them into little, bit-sized squares.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons of unsalted butter
1/3 cup evaporated milk
A pinch of salt
1/2 pound semi-sweet chocolate, chopped or in chip form, if you’re into that kind of thing
4 oz marshmallow creme (about one half a jar)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup of chopped, toasted hazelnuts

Preparation:

1. Line an 8 x 8 inch baking pan. Butter the pan to prevent future sticking. Make certain you have everything chopped, measured, and ready to go. You really don’t want to be caught with your pants down when making fudge, believe me.

2. In a heavy-bottomed saucepan (3 qt. is excellent), bring sugar, milk, salt, and butter to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Let the mixture come to a boil, stirring all the while to prevent burning. When it reaches the much-desired temperature of 234°F, remove from the heat and immediately stir in chocolate and marshmallow creme. Incorporate all ingredients until uniform in color, then add vanilla and hazelnuts. Fold in nuts.

3. Pour hot fudge into your prepared pan and spread evenly with a spatula. Refrigerate for about two hours before serving. Or let set at room temperature for much, much longer than that. Your call.

4. When the fudge has a nice, firm texture, run a sharp knife around the edges of the pan, invert onto a cutting board and cut into desired pieces.
5. To serve, pick up a small piece and raise it to mouth level. Open mouth, insert fudge, close mouth, and chew. It’s really that easy.

If you do not trust yourself with so much fudge around the house, I suggest you pack some for your friends. They’ll thank you for it later, believe me.

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15 Responses to ‘Round the Corner, Fudge Is Made.

  1. Nicky D. says:

    Whenever I think of fudge, and I do think of fudge, it reminds me of that scene where Bugs neglects to catch baby Finster because he gets distracted by his fudge. I couldn’t find a clip, probably been censored to unrecognizable oblivion, but make no mistake, dropping babies always was and always will be funny.

    Transcript:
    Bugs Bunny: Oh, Finster! Oh, Finster, baby!
    [Sees Finster trying to get the money]
    Bugs Bunny: Oh, there you are, you naughty baby.
    [Shakes Finster]
    Bugs Bunny: How many times I have told you not to play with that dirty money? We’ll just have to get hims all tidied up.
    [Puts Finster in the washing machine and turns it on; takes him out, covered in suds]
    Bugs Bunny: There, nice enough to be kissed. Ah, whoops, the baby!
    [Throws Finster up against the ceiling]
    Bugs Bunny: Oh, dear. I do believe I’ve forgotten my fudge.
    [Turns around, Finster falls behind him]
    Bugs Bunny: Aw, sakes alive. Did’ims fall down?
    [Finster pulls out a knife and tries to stab Bugs; he misses and stabs himself in the butt]
    Finster: Yeow!
    [Murmurs obscenities]
    Bugs Bunny: [as he spanks Finster, weapons fall out] We’ll just have to learn not to play with knives and not to use naughty words. And believe me, Finster, this hurts you more than it does me.

    • michaelprocopio says:

      Leave it to you to think of such things. I could only find 22 seconds of this in English, not the whole thing. In Czech, yes, but English, no:

  2. julie says:

    Laughing out loud while reading a fudge recipe is really wonderful. Thank you for making me laugh, whether or not I actually make the recipes!

    You are so talented. And smart. And such a great writer.

  3. jodi says:

    lol, dirty money and fudge. For some reason that just sounds wrong.🙂

  4. Jay Floyd says:

    I love naughty food writing. No really. I do.

  5. Lisa Jonte says:

    Fudge? It looks lovely, but I can’t face it; not when it’s so damned hot on this side of the Bay. Haven’t you an ice cream recipe somewhere? Sorbet?

    Would it help if I begged? Because I will. Honestly, any shame I had evaporated out my pores days ago.

    • michaelprocopio says:

      Lisa– Funny you should mention begging for ice cream, since that’s exactly what I’ve been working on this week. You’ll just have to wait until Saturday morning to find out what I came up with…

  6. jackhonky says:

    Isn’t there a second part to that children’s rhyme?

    Milk, Milk, Lemonade. Round the corner fudge is made.
    Stick your finger up the hole, out comes a chocolate Tootsie roll.

    Hmmm. That reminds me, I’ve been wanting to experiment with chocolate plastic. I should get on that.

    • michaelprocopio says:

      I never, ever, ever heard that second part of the rhyme. Maybe it’s just me, or are have Tootsie Roll dispensers become so much more reliable that there is no longer any need to stick one’s finger inside to jimmy out the candy?

      • MrJackhonky says:

        Really? How strange. I could have sworn it was a common second line to the rhyme. Perhaps it’s a regional thing, I did grow up in the backwaters of Missouri (actually it was a relatively benign suburb of St. Louis, but in my mind I like to pretend it was the backwaters of Missouri to add color to my otherwise bland backstory).

        As for the dispensers becoming more and more reliable, I think when you live in a major urban city like San Francisco, the dispensers tend to get a lot more use and thus the candy comes out that much easier. Of course, living here in SF, the dispenser are practically ubiquitous so if one doesn’t work, it’s not so hard to find the another.

  7. Susan says:

    I think you are mistaking Pez candy dispensers for tootsie roll dispensers.

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